Still With Me
by nommiej
Summary: "I'm doing it because this is the only way to do it. It will ease him into it if he's got a friendly face to help him through. You are the only one for the job, you are the only one with ties to his past" Fury placated, to which the young woman just glared at him with fire burning in her coffee brown eyes. - Captain AmericaXOC - Rated M Because I am paranoid!
1. Chapter 1

**I don't own the avengers, captain america etc etc so please do not sue me.**

**Reviews are very much appreciated and very good motivator...if you like, tell me so.**

**Enjoy ****xx**

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Chapter One

_"No. I won't do it. I can't do it. What on earth do you think you are going to achieve! If anything he'll __get worse and then you'll loose him, forever" she practically yelled, big, fat, salty tears threatening to spill down her cheeks. _

_"I'm doing it because this is the only way to do it. It will ease him into it __if he's got a friendly face to help him through. You are the only one for the job Sophie, you are the only one with ties to his past" Fury placated, to __which the young woman just glared at him with fire burning in her coffee brown eyes._

_Fury stood up to his full height, towering over the petite brunette, staring her down with his eye._

_"The preparations have already been arranged. You're shipping out first thing in the morning. This is non-negotiable Agent" he said and stalked out of the library._

_The young woman glared at the personnel file on the table with anger in her eyes and sadness in her heart._

_Yelling in frustration, she swiped the file to the floor and stormed out of the room, not letting the tears fall._

_The thin pieces of aged, yellow paper floated gracefully to the floor and landing on top, a black and white photo of a beautiful young woman._

* * *

_"…...I had a date__"_

Steve Rogers woke with a heavy sigh, the early morning sunlight of a New York June streaming through the small gap in the curtains of his Brooklyn loft apartment.

It had been 2 weeks since he'd woken up in S.H.E.I.L.D's New York base but it all seemed like yesterday, all of it seemed like yesterday...the war, Hydra, Bucky...Peggy...

Steve closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to forget, but as soon as his eyelids closed, her face appeared, taunting him and he didn't want to open his eyes, to just keep them closed forever so that he could always see her face. To pretend none of this was real.

Opening his eyes meant having to understand and deal with what had happened to him, to her, to everyone. It almost made him wish he hadn't been found at all, to stay sleeping in a world where he and Peggy could be together forever, where his friends and everyone he knew were still alive.

_"No"._

Shaking his head in an attempt to lift the black mood that had settled over him (and had stayed for the last 2 weeks) he decided he should get ready for the day ahead...not that he actually did very much these days.

After a quick, hot shower he got dressed in his usual tan slacks and shirt and decided to fix himself some breakfast, which would only consist of cereal as he couldn't figure out how to work the modern kitchen appliances (yet), making him breathe another heavy sigh but before he could start down the slow spiral of depression, which usually ended up in several broken punch bags, his apartment buzzer sounded.

Wandering slowly to the intercom he pushed the little blue button, at least he knew how this piece of technology worked.

"Hello?" he asked

"Captain Rogers, its Agent Coulson"

"Hey Phil, come on up" Steve said with a small smile, buzzing the Agent into the lobby.

Steve liked Phil, he reminded him of his own time in a way he couldn't quite put his finger on.

A quiet knock came at the door and Agent Coulson entered the apartment and made his way over to the open plan kitchen where Steve sat, forcing himself to eat the cereal he'd poured.

S.H.E.I.L.D had arranged for the loft, it was close to Steve's old neighbourhood which they all thought would serve as some kind of roots for him. It was a nice apartment, minimalist but not modern with warm, walnut wood floors and large windows, making the place bright and cosy all at the same time. It even had a small roof terrace - Steve liked the apartment, he didn't like that it was so empty. He didn't have any stuff to fill it with...no one to share it with.

"Captain, Director Fury has a proposition I am to relay to you regarding your current situation" Coulson said with a smile. Steve looked up from his cereal with a slightly raised eyebrow, knowing that by proposition, what he meant was order.

"Director Fury feels that in order to re-establish yourself in the 21st Century, you will need as much support as you can." Coulson said, Steve gave him a small smile and put down the bowl of cereal, he really couldn't eat right now.

"So we have arranged a...assistant for you to help, bring you up to speed" he said with a smile.

"Is that really necessa..." Steve started.

"Agent Carter, you can come in now" Coulson said, looking toward the front door.

Steve's heart thudded painfully in his chest, why, of all of the Agents in the history of all S.H.E.I.L.D Agents did Fury have to pick one by the name of Carter!

He heard her high heels clicking quietly on the wooden floor even before she entered the apartment. As she entered, Steve's mouth went dry, his palms started to sweat and his brain felt like it had melted.

She was beautiful.

Her petite, slim frame seemed to glide over to them. Her chocolate coloured hair fell in waves to her shoulders and her warm, slightly sun kissed skin seemed to glow in the sun.

It was Peggy.

"Peggy?" Steve almost whispered. He didn't notice the sad look in her eyes as she looked up at Coulson.

"Captain, this is Agent Sophie Carter. She's our head of our History and Artefacts department in New York". Coulson said proudly.

"Nice to meet you Captain" she said and held out her hand. It took a while for the Captain to realise what was happening. She was the spitting image of Peggy, even right down to the English accent. After a pause, Agent Carter raised her eyebrow slightly which seemed to jolt him back to reality.

"Uh, hi, Steve Rogers...nice to meet you too" he said, taking her delicate hand in his, it was warm and soft like nothing he had ever known.

Agent Carter dropped her hand to her side quickly, feeling her cheeks warm a little.

"Well I'll let you two get acquainted. See you both later" Coulson said and exited the apartment.

An awkward, thick silence fell between the Captain and Agent Carter.

Agent Carter broke the silence first.

"Right, well, shall I sort some coffee and we can have a bit of a chat about all of this. Coulson didn't exactly explain very much did he".

Steve could see that her mouth was moving but all he could hear was the sound of his own heart beating so hard he thought it might burst out of his chest.

"Captain?" she asked, looking up at him through thick black eyelashes.

"Yeah, coffee sounds great" he said, finally pulling himself together, still unable to tear his eyes away from the woman who was Peggy incarnate.

He sat at the counter and tried hard not to watch her as Agent Carter busied herself around his kitchen making coffee for them. He envied the way she fiddled around with the various appliances like she'd known instinctively what to do with them.

His heart beat had become even again but every time he caught her big, brown doe eyes a crushing ache formed in his heart and he had to swallow hard to keep his composure.

"Here we go" Agent Carter said as she poured the steaming, hot black liquid into a mug for Steve and herself and she stood, leaning against the counter opposite Steve. He looked down into his coffee with an unbearably sad look on his handsome face.

Agent Carter sighed quietly, sadly. Knowing what she had to do and not wanting to do it.

"Captain, are you alright"? She asked softly, genuine concern written all of her beautiful features. Steve looked up at her with those steely blue eyes, and as he did she could feel her cheeks start to blush a little. Steve noticed and looked back down at his coffee, not wanting to embarrass her.

"Yeah, fine, sorry... you just remind me of someone" he said, taking a sip of the hot coffee.

Agent Carter felt like killing Fury. She was so angry, how could he do this to him. To torture the poor man with her own face when he had plenty of other Agents who would fight to the death to be given this opportunity! Hell, even Coulson would take it.

She had to close her eyes briefly to hold back the tears that she knew were ready to fall at a moments notice. She took a deep breath.

"Sorry Captain. If you want, we can discuss this all in tomorrow if you'd rather just take the day to you know, um, sort things out". She said clumsily, making his mouth curl up in a small smile.

"No, you came all the way to this part of town, we should get this done so I know what I'm letting myself in for" he said, standing up and gesturing for her to make her way over to the living area.

"Alright" Agent Carter said quietly and clicked her way to the living room and sat down on a large, worn, brown leather sofa.

"Right..." Agent Carter started once Steve had settled himself in a chair opposite her.

"Fury wants me to help you integrate back into the 21st Century, and by that I mean catching up on the last 70 odd years of history, music, literature, science, technology, culture, society...everything really". She said in a rush.

Steve's eyes widened slightly.

"Wow" he exclaimed "though, I should've seen it coming I guess" he said, nursing the coffee mug in his hands.

"Not that I meant for any of that to sound at all patronising, I mean you're a grown man and you obviously know how to take care of yourself and..." Agent Carter rambled and then realised she was rambling.

"What I mean to say is..." she said slowly, eliciting another small smile from Steve "...is that I am here to help you get used to the world today in the most pain and stress free way I can" she said with a smile, hiding the betrayal she felt in her heart.

Steve looked her for a long while and she could only imagine what he was going through. She could barley look at him. She wanted to run out of the building and never come back so that he never had to look at her again. She hated that she was causing that far away, pained look on his face. She had heard her whisper that name as she entered and felt like running away right there and then, but it was pointless, Fury would never let her go.

"Ok, how do you want to go about this" Steve said, finally tearing his eyes away from her, releasing a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Well Captain..." she started

"It's Steve...just call me Steve" he interrupted and she let a small mile form on her rosy pink lips.

"Ok Steve, well, S.H.E.I.L.D have relocated me to this apartment block so I will be your new neighbour just in case of any...emergencies" she started, looking up into his stormy blue eyes, trying to ignore the blush that was rising in her cheeks.

"I will prepare lesson plans for us to go through to cover all of the years you have missed and pay special attention to important historical events etc" she said smoothly, taking a sip of her coffee.

"After that, the day is pretty much yours to do with what you will and if you need me to hang around for any reason, if you ever just want to talk, or want a sparring partner or just want to yell at someone, I'll be here" She said sweetly, earnestly and he could feel his own cheeks get warmer.

"You've given up an awful lot to teach an old dog new tricks Miss" he said sadly, looking down into his coffee cup.

"Sophie, please..." she started and Steve nodded.

"Look, Steve, I'm not going to say I understand what your going through because I simply, can't imagine what it would feel like. This is going to be hard for you, really hard but you will get through it, I promise" she said, placing her well manicured hand on his knee.

Steve looked up at her and had to look away quickly, she reminded him of everything he could never have and it hurt beyond belief.

"Ok Sophie. You must want to get settled into your new apartment so why don't you go unpack and we'll get started this afternoon" he said. Sophie nodded.

"Perfect" she said and left the apartment, leaving Steve to his thoughts.

_"Peggy" _


	2. Chapter 2

**Re-written as I really wasn't happy with the first draft. No more late night, impulse writing!**

**I don't own anything so please don't sue me - thank you for the review and thanks to all of the followers.**

**Oh, and I am having trouble with the "insert horizontal line" function to split scenes so please bear with me.**

**Enjoy xx**

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Chapter 2

It was almost midnight.

They'd stayed together all afternoon and all evening, talking about what it was like to live in the 21st century and as she spoke about music and art and literature, so passionately he found himself so wrapped up in her that he hadn't even noticed the time.

She looked sp much like Peggy that sometimes it was hard to look at her, and then sometimes, he'd look at her and couldn't see anyone but Sophie. Through the course of the day, he tried to pick up on all of the things that set her apart from his lost love. He noticed that she bit on the corner of her bottom lip when she got nervous and blushed frequently. She talked with her hands when speaking of something she loved...and after closer examination (which she frequently caught him doing), he noted that Sophie's jaw line was narrower, giving her face a more oval shape. Her nose was thinner and more delicate, her eyes slightly more feline and much darker than Peggy's. He also couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from the charming little freckle on her cheek, just below her right earlobe.

She caught him staring again and Steve glanced at his watch quickly, bulking at the time. He understood that things were different now, how men and women interacted and what was seen as appropriate and inappropriate. But for he just couldn't shake a feeling of unease knowing that she was here, alone, with him in his apartment so late at night.

"Sophie, you'd best be heading home, its midnight" he exclaimed which brought a wide, sleepy smile to Sophie's full, dusky pink lips.

"You're not worried about the neighbours are you Captain"? She teased good naturedly.

"Well, I..." Steve struggled.

"It's alright, we'll play it forties style tonight" she said slipping on her heels over her nylons and getting up from the couch.

Sophie made her was over to the door, suddenly realising how tired she was. Steve followed close behind, making the butterflies that hadn't really disappeared all night return. Turning to say goodnight she pacifically knocked herself over he was so close. They both stepped back a little, both blushing.

"Well, goodnight..." Sophie said softly "...I hope I didn't scare you off" she said with gentle laugh, playing with her keys. Steve looked down at her and smiled.

"Not at all" he said and opened the door for her, making her smile again.

"Well, night then" she said, looking up at him through her thick eyelashes.

"Night Peggy" Steve said without thinking and for the first time that day, he saw her eyes cloud over with sadness. She gave him a small smile and he watched her until she was safely in her apartment.

"Damn"! Steve cursed as he closed his door.

* * *

Locking her apartment door the tears started to fall.

Tears for Steve, tears for the life he never had, tears for Peggy...tears for herself.

looking down at the side table, she held the gaze of the woman in the photograph for a long time as she let the tears dry up and the pain ache in her chest ease a little, at least enough for her to go to bed.

Kicking off her heels she wandered to her bedroom and flopped onto her comfy bed. She hadn't realised how emotionally exhausting this detail was going to be. To try and help a man so lost and out of time as the Captain, to try and not feel an overwhelming sense of intense sympathy and sadness every time she looked at him. Seeing the pain in his blue eyes every time he looked at her, to watch him see someone else in her place.

One last tear rolled down her cheek and she was asleep before it hit the pillow.

* * *

Steve sat on the end of his bed holding a crumpled photograph in his hand, staring at it intensely.

He knew she was gone, she'd been gone for a long time but to him it felt like only yesterday that she had pressed her red lips to his. If he closed his eyes, he could still hear her, still see her perfect face and then slowly, that face started to change. Her eyes grew darker, her nose thinned and her lips changed to the most delicate, dusky pink, a freckle appeared on her cheek, just below her right earlobe...

Steve opened his eyes quickly, holding the photograph closer to his face, scared he would forget what she looked like, scared he would forget her.

Steve sighed heavily. He remembered the sad look in Sophie's eyes as he called her Peggy. He hadn't meant to, it had just been such a confusing and, to be honest, painful day for him he hadn't been thinking straight.

And he was tired.

After 70 years asleep in the ice and then 2 weeks of insomnia, today had pushed him over the edge and he felt very tired indeed.

Closing his eyes again, sleep found him quickly along with visions of two beautiful women.


	3. Chapter 3

**Finally, another chapter for you.**

**Thank you for all of the favourite story and watch lists! Love you all. I promise we'll get all Avengers-y soon and apologies for the poor quality - I'm a bit rusty.**

**I don't own the Avengers, Captain America etc etc**

**Please enjoy and review.**

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Chapter 3

Steve's head was pounding.

Sophie wasn't kidding when she said it was going to be hard to get through so much...everything. He was learning how to live again and every time he sat down at the large mahogany desk with Sophie, he could feel the pounding in his head return. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to ease the throbbing.

Sophie hadn't missed the Captain struggling. She too had a headache and it was high time for some fresh air.

The Captain looked up as Sophie pushed all of the books and computers away and stood abruptly.

"Time for a break" she said with a sigh "shall we walk around the park for a bit"? She asked, looking down at him with a smile.

Looking back with tired, grey eyes the Captain nodded in agreement, some fresh air was definitely what he needed right now.

Sophie blushed furiously as Steve helped her on with her light jacket and smiled a thank you. Even though they had been with each other for practically the whole week, she still wasn't used to being treated like a lady, but she liked it - at S.H.E.I.L.D, you were an Agent, and that was all (even if you did just work in a museum). Steve couldn't describe the feeling that shot through him as he saw Sophie's cheeks redden...but it wasn't...unpleasant.

As soon as they stepped out into the bright, warm sunshine they both felt much better. Sophie linked arms with the Captain as they made their way to Prospect Park and tried hard not to blush, she was trying to make him feel at ease with her but it just made her feel extra nervous. She felt him tense up next to her and she thought about dropping her arm but just as she was about to move, she felt him relax and she smiled a little, ignoring the butterflies fly around in her stomach.

The outside world was still overwhelming for Steve. There were so many cars and people and noise and lights! Even walking down the street became a battle, one he wasn't sure he was ready for. Having Sophie helped a lot, she had a natural confidence about her that seemed to rub off on him and as they walked through the gates of Prospect Park, he felt pretty good, for the first time in what felt like a long time.

They walked and talked, not about anything deep and meaningful, neither of them had the energy for that, but it was nice to walk in the warm June sunshine talking about their favourite movies, books, music and food. They smiled and laughed and had lapped the park at least three times before they reluctantly headed back to the apartment. Steve felt so at ease, so relaxed with her that it was like he had known her all his life...and then that unbearable ache returned as he looked down at Sophie.

God he missed her. He missed what they could've been, what they should've been and his eyes clouded over with the mist of longing and sadness.

Sophie had picked up on his change of mood as soon as they left the park. His eyes had a faraway look in them and he had tensed up again and her heart broke for him.

They walked back to the apartment in silence.

* * *

Steve was grateful that they had finished for the day and was itching to get to the gym.

"I'll be back later Sophie, don't stay up too late" he said as he walked into the hallway, carrying his gym bag. Sophie looked up and instantly felt her cheeks redden at the sight of him in his tight, white workout t-shirt and cursed herself internally.

"Yes Cap'" she said, saluting him and trying very hard not to stare. Steve smiled a little as he watched her bite the corner of her bottom lip.

Closing the door behind him he wasn't sure if he wanted to define what exactly it was he felt for Sophie. He obviously felt something but he really wasn't ready to go down that rabbit hole.

Back at the apartment, Sophie typed away on her laptop, stopping occasionally to check something in a book or make herself some tea - they had made Steve's apartment their unofficial study base and Sophie would rarely leave until Steve came back from the gym, even though he told her not to wait up - she figured that coming back to an empty, quiet apartment wasn't exactly helpful in a situation like hi. He didn't have anyone else in the world so it was probably nice for him to come home to someone, even if it was only her.

The night was getting old and Sophie could feel her eyelids getting heavy and jolted herself awake, only to feel her eyelids close a second later. She felt her head involuntarily rest itself on the pile of books on the desk and before she knew it, she was asleep...

Steve unlocked his apartment door and dumped his gym bag by the side table.

He noticed a soft glow emanating from the dining area. A small smile playing on his lips, Sophie had stayed. Quietly walking over he saw her small frame heaped over several large books, her head resting on the desk, asleep. He looked down at her and something inside him stirred as he watched her sleeping peacefully. Looking around at the desk he saw all manner of highlighters, books, computers, sticky tabs, pencils and pens - she'd been working hard.

Looking at her like this, Steve felt incredibly guilty. She had given up her life for his and he hadn't even said thank you.

A soft, chocolate brown curl fell from behind her ear and without thinking, he brushed it back.

Mistake

The Captain was suddenly overwhelmed by a feeling he recognised but had no intention of identifying it. She stirred and Steve dropped his hand quickly, blushing furiously.

Her eyelids fluttered open and she sat up slowly.

"Hey" she said sleepily as Steve's face came into focus.

"Hey"

"What time is it" she asked, searching for her watch between the debris of studying.

"About half midnight" he said, an uneasy feeling coming over him - she really shouldn't be here.

"Goodness" she said with as much shock as she could muster in her sleepy state "you were a long time"

"Yeah" he sighed heavily. She leaned forward a little and looked up at him, he could smell her perfume and it was making his head fuzzy.

"Are you alright Steve" she asked, pure, genuine concern written all over her pretty face. Looking down at her he desperately tried to not look at her pink lips.

"Yeah Sophie, I'm fine" he said, looking slightly above her head and not directly at her, hoping it would ease the ache in his chest and the almost undeniable impulse to grab her and kiss her.

She half smiled in disbelief.

"You won't be though if we don't get you to bed" he said and then blushed...that sounded better in his head...

Sophie tried to hide a small smirk and stood up from the chair.

"I suppose you're right Cap" she said, closing the books and trying to make the desk look a little tidier...she failed.

Steve watched her slowly move around the apartment, collecting her bag and holding her shoes in her hand and for the first time, he noticed that she was actually quite short when she wasn't wearing her heels and another wave of that all too recognisable feeling swept over him.

Steve opened the front door from her.

"Night Steve" she said softly and placed a delicate hand on his shoulder, and standing on tip toes she placed the softest kiss on his cheek.

"Uh, night Sophie" he said, practically dumbstruck.

Sophie felt the wide smile form on her lips as she walked away down the hall, butterflies be damned!


End file.
